Small Deaths

PAGE ONE

The point of this page is to introduce the characters Kime, Bridie and Exilbo. The story will focus mostly on Bridie and Kime. And while Exilbo will remain unnamed for a while, he will be brought up again in explanations of back story.

Kime is awake in bed, Exilbo is sleeping next to her. She was sleeping at some point too, but she was awaken by a sense of unease and has been awake since. She probably has been awake for an hour or so before the scene even begins.

PANEL ONE.

A YOUNG WOMAN LIES ON A LARGE BED IN A DARK ROOM. THIS IS KIME ZANO. THE VIEW IS FROM ABOVE AND THE VIEW IS FROM ABOVE AND THE FOCUS IS MORE ON THE BED, NOT SHOWING MUCH OF THE ROOM BEYOND THAT. NEXT TO HER IS EXILBO WHO IS TURNED ON HIS SIDE, FACED AWAY FROM HER SLEEPING PEACEFULLY. KIME, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS WIDE AWAKE, STARING UP AT THE VIEWER. THE BLANKETS ARE BUNCHED AROUND HER AND HER BODY IS SPRAILED OUT IN RESTLESSNESS. SHE IS MUCH SMALLER COMPAIRED TO EXILBO.

PANEL TWO.

A CLOSER IMAGE OF KIME, FROM THE TORSO UP. HER EYES GO WIDE AND THERE IS TENSION IN HER BODY. HER HAND IS GRIPPING AT THE SHEETS.

PANEL THREE.

AN IMAGE OF KIME’S EYES, LARGE AND DOMINATING MOST OF THE PANEL. IN HER EYES IS A REFLECTION OF A GIRL WHO LOOKS VERY SIMILAR TO HERSELF.

PAGE TWO

PANEL ONE.

A CLEARER IMAGE OF THE GIRL IN KIME’S VISION. SHE LOOKS ALMOST IDENTICAL TO KIME, BUT DIFFERENT. HER HAIR MORE WILD AND A DARKER SHADE OF RED. HER EYES A DARKER SHADE OF BROWN. HER EXPRESSION IS LOST AND FORLORN. SHE STANDS IN THE DARKNESS. A LIGHT SHADOW OVER HER FEATURES TO MAKE HER SEEM SOMEWHAT HAUNTED.

PANEL TWO.

THE PANEL PULLS BACK TO FOCUS ON KIME WHO IS NOW SITTING UP IN BED. HER KNEES ARE UP TO HER CHEST AND HER HANDS ARE GRIPPING AT HER HEAD. HER HAIR FLOWS OVER FACE, HIDING ITS FEATURES. THE VIEW IS FROM THE SIDE.

PANEL THREE.

LOOKING AT KIME STRAIGHT ON, SHE IS LOOKING UP. HER FACE IS TWISTED IN PAIN AND HER MOUTH IS OPEN IN A SCREAM. BESIDES HER EXILBO IS WAKING, TWISTING TO WORRY AND SHOCK TO LOOK AT KIME.

PANEL FOUR.

KIME’S BODY ERRUPTS IN FLAMES.

PANEL FIVE.

SHE IS GONE. THE BED IS EMPTY WITH THE EXCEPTION OF EXILBO WHO LOOKS ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED AND TERRIFIED.

PAGE THREE

FULL PAGE.

THE IMAGE OF THE GIRL FROM KIME’S VISION.

“Why you here?” asked a bored voice.

A strange, gruff guy leaned against the doorframe. He was usually tall and long. I attributed the length of him to how skinny he was, drowning in his clothes. Straight, black hair lay limp and greasy at short strange angles over his face. His face was narrow and held a strange delicacy to it. Girlish, almost. His lips pulled into a glum bored expression. His eyes were slanted but wide, and emerald in color.

“Nice to see you too, Xul.”

“Who is she anyway? Bork said ‘yours.’ I can’t imagine you having a girlfriend, Pallav.” His eyes looked me over, his expression never changing. “Though she doesn’t look much for a mate.”

 “She’s needs help.” I noticed Pallav’s  grip on me tighten a little. He stepped forward. “Will you let us stay?”

“I didn’t know you took in stays.”

“This one’s important. At least help me with her feet.”

I looked up at him, not sure what to make of his words. He was looking straight at Xul, his jaw tense.

“Of course we will help,” said someone from the hall behind Xul. A man, identical to Xul in built and structure came bounding into the room with great energy. Even if it weren’t for his piercings and shaved head, it would be easy to tell this twin from the other. His movements were constant, swift, and graceful. His eyes were the color of deep violets and they sparkled with mischief, not gloom and boredom.  He beckoned Pallav to the hallway and said, “Well, come in.”

The whole place felt strange. There were no windows and as far as I could see, no source of light. And yet, there was light. Strong bright light that was sometimes soft and sweet and always gave off warmth and made you feel safe. Not the weak dirty yellow light of candles or red-orange glow of fire or the sticky fake flicker of florescent bulbs, but real sunlight that made you forget you were in a enclosed place. The walls were plain, but they looked as though they were rippling. I wanted to ask about it didn’t know how. Besides, the hyper twin was too busy chattering on about how glad he was to have visitors and how it had been such a long time since he seen Pallav. He was asking him all sorts of questions, but giving him no time to answer and Pallav seemed content with that.

The hallway wound about a corner and finally I could see an exit. As we drew closer we were met with a soft coppery glow. I could feel my eyes widening when we entered the room. It was impossibly large and led to many other halls. But what was most remarkable was it was filled with stacks of coins everywhere. The sight conjured up visions of dragon hoards from tales I was told as a kid.

There was a space in the middle of the room that was clear of coins. An assortment of pillows were scattered across the floor between a large couch and an arrangement of mismatched armchairs. The nameless twin gestured to a couch where Pallav laid me down.

“Xul, can you go get something for the lady’s feet?” the talkative one asked as he perched down on the arm of the couch.

“Why does it have to be me?” Xul grumbled, but he was already disappearing down another hall.

Looking up at the violet eyed twin, I was once again reminded by how amazingly long they were. All legs and arms and torso and jutting bones.  Skeletal, really.

“I’m Mulsh,” he told me. “And you are?”

It was the first time I had been directly spoken to since Pallav decided I needed to be brought with him. I didn’t even realize how much I was just letting things happen without putting my own say into things. “I’m Frankie.”

“So what kind of perils do you face, Frankie?”

I was surprised to see him so still all of a sudden. His voice was still light and friendly, still a sharp contrast to the gloom and boredom of his brother, but it seemed serious now.  The way he had been bounding about with endless chatter, I couldn’t see him sit on the arm chair for more than a few seconds. Even his hands had stilled, no longer fluttering about him in grand gestures.

“A Fyrth came after her and her friend,” Pallav said.

I was annoyed that I was being spoken for. I shot him a look before relaying the story to Mulsh. 

I looked over at her, studying her face. She smiled a small smile and shrugged. There was always something about Lettie I couldn’t pinpoint. A look that aged her. Not in wrinkles and worry lines and defeat. Her skin was smooth and tan, her cheek bones high and sharp. She was young and gorgeous but I always felt she was years older than me when she was only a month younger. I nodded at her, even though I wanted to complain about how concern I was for Ashley. There was something so final about her words and her lack of concern almost bothered me but there was a truth there that was hard for me to hear. I grabbed my things to leave the car.

“Hey, Brid, wait.”

I stopped with my hand on the handle and looked back.

“When Henry was here, he told us about the party. He said you tried to seduce him, but he fended off your advances. He says he’s with someone else. That you just don’t get that.”

“He said that?”

“I thought you should know.”

I chewed on my lip as my mind raced and my heart sank. Anger, betrayal, annoyance stabbed at me. But most of all, deep down where I didn’t want to hear it, I was really pissed at myself. “I know who you’re talking about. This thirty year old he met when taking ceramics. But I’ve asked him so many times if that was something, he said no each time.”

“He told us it was something.”

“She’s thirty! Why the hell would she be interested in him? He doesn’t have a job. His parents pay for everything. He’s immature as fuck. And I didn’t try to seduce him. I thought…” I laid my head on the steering wheel.

Lettie reached over and placed her hand on my shoulder in a comforting way. “That’s how he is. You know that. You know you should have just walked away back in October or after you helped Aaron move out of Henry’s place.”

“I mean, sure, I was a little drunk. It was my party. But he let me stay. In his bed. He could have made someone take me home. Or had me sleep on the couch. Or told me that there was something going on when I asked.”

“I know. It’s time to just walk away. You owe him nothing. You never did.”

“Yeah.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And then another. “We should probably go. The guys are already here.”

Outside of Starbucks, I didn’t say anything. They all joked and laughed, but I wasn’t listening. Instead, my eyes bore holes into my phone. I picked it up only to put it down again. I spun it on the table, stopped, picked it up, stared at the time, and put it down.

Henry sent me a text asking how Miami was. It looked innocent enough, but I knew he hated that I was there. He always acted on edge when I spent time with his friends. He always acted on edge when I spent time with guys. If I was out all night without him he would constantly text me. If I didn’t respond right away, he’d say things like: Guess you’re having too much fun. Gangbang, right?

A funny way to act for someone who didn’t actually want you. But then again, I gave him too much power.

Me: Did you tell Aaron and Juliette that you had to stop me from sleeping with you?

Henry: What?

Me: Why would you say that? Or not just tell me that you and her were together.

Henry: I didn’t say anything. And we’re not.

Me: You told everyone here something different.

Henry: They heard wrong.

Me: Henry, are you and her together?

Henry: No.

Henry: But she totally wants to have my babies. I just know it.

Me: Be serious. Just tell me the truth.

Henry: I am.

Henry: Who wouldn’t want my babies. My genetic material is GODLY.

Me: …not funny.

Henry: My sperm is no laughing matter.

Me: Fuck you.

Henry: Okay.

Me: No I’m serious. Whatever this was, it’s done. For real. Over. Go have fun with your thirty year old. She’ll get bored. She’s thirty.

Henry: Ooo, jealous.

Me: It’s true.

Henry: Nah. She’s so into me.

Me: I doubt that.

My eyes burned. Yet I was surrounded by so many people and there was nowhere to run. I couldn’t just start the tears now. My fingers went to my collar bone and began haphazardly tapping, making a hollow sound.

I barely noticed when a car pulled up and Aaron came stumbling out on crutches. His sister Deb climbed out after him. Lettie ran over to help while everyone else started shuffling chairs to situate Aaron in an easy access spot. I made myself get up and smile, moving toward him when he got close.

Aaron pulled me in when I hugged him. “What’s wrong?”

“I guess I’m actually single.”

He pulled back and looked at me. He searched my face and eyes for a moment.

“It’s better this way. Like you said before, Henry is crazy. Now we need to get you a good guy.” He kissed me on the cheek.

I forced a light laugh. “I’ll be okay. Happy Birthday.”

• Excerpt from “Shadows in the Everglades.” I hate this part of the story. Something about it feels so forced, so far from real. It upsets me.
  

I didn’t have anywhere to go. Not that my mind would have thought of a place if I had one. I just kept running until I was too out of breath to continue.  I stood in the middle of a square in Bridges, hunched over and panting.  There were people all around me, sitting outside cafes, restaurants and bars, and waiting to get inside clubs. The distance of my run surprised me since I don’t run. I don’t even work out beyond dancing in the clubs.

I didn’t have much time to ponder over the wonders of the body because a voice called out, “Hey, you girl, are you okay?”

I looked up started and saw a Rwysho, an Fherian police officer, approach me. It was only then I realized I was just wearing a thin shirt and my underwear, the things I slept in. I didn’t have time to put on clothes or even shoes. I quickly looked around to see if there were any other Rwyshon in sight, afraid that I would be arrested for public indecency.  Not seeing any, I bolted, heading in the direction of East Taylan.

“Stop! “

I kept going. Behind me I heard him give chase.

“By Fherian law, I command you to stop!”

I saw one of the large bridges up ahead, one of the newer ones made of steel and concrete. Half of it was for vehicles, but the other, narrower, half was a footpath that happened to be crowded with people moving from East Bridges to the more extravagant clubs of the West. I ran into the moving crowd, pushing my way past people and hoping the opposing traffic would slow down the larger, bulkier, Rwyshon. I didn’t even look back when I reached the other side of the bridge, moving past the street entertainers, stores and night life and straight into the cobblestone streets of East Taylan.

I must have lost him because when I finally peered over my shoulder, he was gone. But I was still out in the open, vulnerable and half naked. I was bound to draw attention again.  Without thinking, I darted into the maze of the alleyways. After a couple minutes I stopped and leaned against a stone wall, feeling the cold sweet against my hot skin. My feet burned and ached so I sat down to inspect them. They were filthy. Caked with mud, gravel, sand and blood. There were cuts on my feet and I could see where the skin was loose and would soon fill with liquid and blister. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to walk for much farther. I didn’t know where to walk to.

 I could see Chickie crawling towards me in my mind’s eye. The image now haunting me.

It was only then that I thought of the guys with the paint cans. I looked at the walls around me and was surprised to find myself disappointed to see them bare. I had to keep moving. Towards what, I didn’t know. When I stood, I whimpered from the pain. I should have never sat down. Giving my feet time to rest was the worse choice I could have made. Every step was excruciating and made me aware just how raw the skin of my soles were.

I made it maybe twenty steps or so before giving up and sitting on the cold stone floor again. What was the use when I didn’t even have a destination?

“What are you doing here?” asked someone. He stood at the end of the alley, tall and dark. Gray green eyes with a tint of yellow.

“You.” I wanted to sound angry, accusing, threatening. I only sounded exhausted and weak.

He crouched down beside me, his eyes only green and staring at my feet. I could see no trace of yellow in them. “What happened to you?”

“You said she’d be okay.”

“Did you do what I said?”

I nodded. “But you said you’d leave her alone.” I knew, or thought I knew, it wasn’t him or his glowy-eyed friends, but I still wanted someone to blame.

“And we did. If someone else got to her, that’s not my fault.” The nonchalant way he said it pissed me off. Without thinking I shoved him, making him fall on his ass. He looked at me startled. “Okay, okay. Tell me what happened.”

“Why should I?” I said stubbornly. I stared at him fiercely, gaining energy again. I’m sure if I needed to I could try to run. At least a little bit. No, it’d probably be better to try to hit him. Maybe.

“Okay, don’t tell me,” he said as he stood. “I don’t need to help you.” He started to walk away.

I let him walk away a couple steps, struggling with my pride before I yelled wait. He turned around with an eyebrow raised. “She came in with some guy, all giggly and unaware. He had vines under his skin and thorns in his lips. He kissed her forehead and she just… she changed.”

The guy paled. He actually looked frighten. “Did he say anything to you?”

“’Your days are numbered, Haliak.’ Chickie called me that too. She started crawling after me and she started to turn green, her eyes black. I ran.” I looked down at my feet, wincing. “What is happening?”

Silence hung thick in the air between us. “You’re in danger,” he spoke softly and stared blankly.

“Obviously. But why?”

“You have to come with me.” In one swift motion he picked me up his arms.

I was too surprised to try to shove him again. “What do you mean? I’m not going with you.”

“You’re not safe, Frankie. And you have nowhere to go, right?”

I couldn’t argue with that. Not that I had many options. He was the only supernatural person I knew, the only key to maybe figuring things out.

He carried me through the labyrinth of alleys with ease, not once did I feel like he would drop me. Finally we came to a wall. At first I thought it was bare, like all the other walls, and then I realized it was glowing. On it were symbols and paintings, much like the ones the girls were making when under the spell of the paint cans. I must have stirred or made a sound because he said, “They become visible only to those who they’re made for after they’re finished.”

“What are they?”

He didn’t answer, just set me down against the parallel wall and then placed a hand in the center of the paint. There was a slight glow and then a featureless face pushed out from the stone.

“Who’s that?” it asked.

“Mine,” was his nonchalant response.

The face seemed to regard me for a long moment before nodding, and then disappeared. I shivered, feeling completely exposed. I wondered if my instincts were wrong about this guy. I stood, but felt the already forming blisters of my feet and tried not to make a face. He picked me up again and started to walk toward the wall.

“What’s going on?” I tried again but I got no response.

I figured the wall was magical, I knew we’d probably pass through it after everything I’d seen. But my logical mind still didn’t completely believe it. I braced myself for the impact, expecting to feel the press of the stone against my skin. Instead, I felt something soft like spider webs move over me. I cringed, closing my eyes and reached up to brush it out of the way, but there was nothing there. I opened my eyes and saw we were in a narrow dark room.

• Excerpt, Armed with a Wish by Sen. It’s really weird to revise something that I wrote when I was in high school. I hope this is more realistic and interesting than the original. I know I’m approaching the point where the story stopped being written and existed only in my head. I’m not so sure what to do when I get to that point. Keep going, I guess. I try to write down all the world building I’ve done over the years, but it’s scattered in various word documents and in various journals. There’s no way I could possible but all of it together. And I’m certain the ideas have all changed and evolved in some way or any other. I can only hope to work on it all along the way and hope I remember it all and don’t end up with ridiculous inconsistencies. If I do, that’s what editing is for, right?

I’m somewhere upside down all the time, watching as my chest rises and falls even when I’m holding my breath. My mind drifts and focuses, blurring what’s in front of me and what I want to be there. There is so many times where I want to melt away. Not to die, but to disappear into a different existence. One where feeling my toes and heart was optional but not nonexistent. Not dead, but maybe… drifting or floating or some omnipotent presence because I guess I succumb to the sin of pride. I never want to cease to exist, but as I hold my breath and will my heart to stop beating so that I could be truly still for just one millisecond, I wish for all the world to be anything less than solid.

But then my mind reaches its limit and I gasp.

HOOK

BRIDIE BROM HAS JUST COME OUT OF A FAIRLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. AFTER WALKING THROUGH A GLOWING WINDOW IN HER PARENTS’ HOME, SHE FINDS HERSELF TRAPPED IN A WORLD OF NIGHTMARES.

SYNOPSIS

ISSUE ONE.

KIME ZANO IS AWAKE IN HER BED. AFTER RECEIVING A VISION OF A GIRL WHO LOOKS VERY SIMILAR TO HERSELF, SHE ERRUPTS INTO FLAMES AND DISAPEARS.

ELSEWHERE, BRIDIE BROM IS AT A PARTY. SHE SEEMS BORED AND DISTANT. WHILE AT THE PARTY, SHE RECIEVES A PHONE CALL FROM DYLAN MOORE. DYLAN IS HER EXBOYFRIEND WHO IS VERY PERSISTANT AND WON’T LEAVE HER ALONE. HER FRIENDS DESCRIBE HIM AS AN ASSHOLE AND URGES BRID TO CUT ALL TIES WITH HIM. THROUGH REFLECITON, IT IS MADE CLEAR THAT DYLAN HAS RAPED BRID COUNTLESS TIMES BUT BRID FEELS HELPLESS BECAUSE SHE ISN’T EVEN SURE IF ITS CONSIDERED RAPE IF ONE IS IN A MONOGYMOUS RELATIONSHIP. IT IS ALSO SEEN THAT BRID IS HAVING DREAMS ABOUT A MYSTERIOUS MAN. THE VIEWER ALSO BECOMES AWARE OF THE FACT THAT BRID HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN AND SKIPPING CLASS. SHE IS LIKELY TO HAVE FAILED THE SEMESTER.

THE STORY LINE IS BRIEFLY BROUGHT BACK TO KIME. SHE FINDS HERSELF IN A HOUSE MADE OF LAVA ROCK. THERE’S A DEMON WOMAN THERE WHO CLAIMS THAT KIME HAS A SISTER AND THAT SISTER IS IN DANGER. 

AFTER COMING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, BRID FEELS ALIENATED AND WORRIES ABOUT WHAT SHE IS GOING TO HAVE TO SAY TO HER PARENTS WHEN THEY ASK ABOUT HER GRADES. SHE IS STILL HAVING DREAMS ABOUT THE MYSTERIOUS MAN. THE NEXT DAY DYLAN VISITS HER AND CONVINCES HER TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HIM. NOT WANTING TO MAKE A SCENE IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS HOUSE, SHE AGREES TO GO WITH HIM. HE IS KIND AND GENTLE AND SHE REMEMBERS HOW THEY USED TO BE AT THE BEGINNING OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP, HOW SHE ALMOST THOUGHT SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. AFTER DINNER, HE YET AGAIN CONVINCES HER TO GO TO HIS APPARTMENT, PROMISING THAT HE JUST WANTED TO SHOW HER A PAINTING HE’D BEEN WORKING ON. BUT WHEN THEY ARRIVE, HE TRIEST TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. BRID FREEZES AT FIRST THEN ACCUSES HIM OF ONLY EVER WANTING SEX. AND NOW THAT THEY WEREN’T TOGETHER, SHE WAS NO LONGER OBLIGATED TO GIVE IT TO HIM.

AS SHE TRIES TO LEAVE, DYLAN BECOMES VIOLENT AND BRID RUNS TO THE BATHROOM TO KEEP SAFE. HE BREAKS IN THE DOOR AND TRIES TO LAND A PUNCH ON HER BUT INSTEAD HITS THE WALL. WHILE HE IS DISTRACTED, BRID RUNS FROM THE APPARTMENT.

DISTRAUGHT, BRID RETURNS HOME AFTER TAKING A TAXI. SHE FINDS THAT NO ONE IS HOME AND GOES SHOWER. WHILE SHOWERING SHE BEGINS TO CUT HER THIGHS AS SHE SOBS. FEELING COMPLETELY NUMB, SHE LEAVES THE SHOWER AND THEN NOTICES A LIGHT COMING FROM ONE THE ROOMS. WHEN SHE ENTERS THE ROOM SHE SEES THAT THE WINDOW IS GLOWING. WITHOUT REALLY THINKING, FEELING SORT OF LIKE A MOTH TO A GLAME, BRID TOUCHES THE WINDOW AND BECOMES ENGULFED IN LIGHT.

ISSUE TWO.

KIME AND THE DEMON WOMAN, JENIERA, ARE SITTING AT A TABLE SURROUNDED BY A ROOM OF FIRE. JENIERA REVEALS THAT SHE HAD A BRIEF FLING WITH KIME’S FATHER. IT ISN’T DEMON CUSTOM TO RAISE CHILDREN. SHE WAS NEVER FIT TO BE A MOTHER. BUT BRID AND KIME WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER. BLAHBLAH. EXPLAINS THAT BRID IS MISSING. JENIERA CAN’T FEEL HER ANYMORE. KIME ASKS IF BRID ISN’T JUST DEAD. JENIERA EXPLAINS THAT IT IS MUCH DIFFERENT THAN DEATH. BRID IS SOMEWHERE, BUT SOMEWHERE BEYOND ELSEWHERE. JENIERA HOPES THAT WITH KIME’S MAGICAL TRAINING AND CONNECTION TO BRID THROUGH BLOOD, THAT SHE’LL BE ABLE TO LOCATE BRID. JENIERA HAS A GENERAL FEELING THAT HER DISAPEARANCE MEANS DANGER. IN ORDER FOR KIME TO CONNECT WITH BRID (SHE SINCE HAS ONLY A PHANTOM FEELING OF HER SISTER THAT SHE NEVER FULLY ACTUALIZED) KIME MUST CONNECT WITH HER DEMON SELF/POWERS THROUGH MEDITATION. KIME IS LEFT IN THE ROOM OF FIRE TO MEDITIATE.

ELSEWHERE, BRID IS IN A SKELETAL FOREST OF GNARLED TREES AND BONE. SHE’S UNCONCIOUS. THERE ARE SOUNDS OF SOMETHING LARGE MOVING THROUGH THE FOREST. COMING FOR HER. THE BOY FROM HER DREAMS TRIES TO WAKE HER UP. WHEN SHE FINALLY AWAKES, HE FADES AND SHE’S NOT SURE IF SHE REALLY SAW HIM OR NOT. INITIALLY SHE THINKS IT’S A DREAM, BUT IT FEELS TOO SOLID. AND SHE’S TOO DIZZY, WHICH ISN’T REALLY SOMETHING SHE’S EXPERIENCED IN A DREAM BEFORE. SOMETHING IS APPROACHING, BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT, AND SHE DOESN’T FEEL WELL AND SHE CAN’T TELL WHERE SHE IS. EVEN SO, SHE GETS UP AND STARTS TO TRY TO WALK IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. WE SEE THAT WHAT IS APPROACHING HER IS A SWARM OF LARGE SCROPION LIKE CREATURES. SHE HEARS SOMETHING WHISPER TO HER, URGING HER TO MOVE FASTER. A PANIC SETS IN AND BRID BEGINS TO RUN. BUT SHE’S NEVER BEEN ATHLETIC AND SHE’S BAREFOOTED AND SOON BEGINS TO STUMBLE AND FALL.

SHE’S SPRAINED HER ANKLE AND STARTS TO REALLY HEAR THE SCUTTERING OF THE SCORPIONS. SHE IS STULL UNAWARE OF WHAT IS APPROACHING, BUT THE SOUND IS HORRIFYING SO SHE TRIES TO GET UP AND CONTINUE LIMBING AWAY. SHE’S PRETTY SLOW. WHEN SHE LOOKS BACK, SHE SEES THEM. IN HER HORROR, SHE TRIES TO MOVE ON FURTHER. BUT SOON SHE FALLS AGAIN. SHE TRIES TO CRAWL AWAY BUT THE SCORPION CREATURES OVERTAKE HER.

SUDDENLY THE SOUND OF HOOVES IS HEARD. 

• Just the Hook and first two Synopsis for a graphic novel. It features some of the characters in Armed with a Wish and Shadows in the Everglades, though some of the names have changed. This was the original idea for Shadows in the Everglades, before James and the Everglades were introduced. And the shadows. Both stories are meant to be psychological and both stories are meant to involve pieces of my own life. They were written a year apart and I believe that’s why they’re so drastically different. A year made all the difference in my state of mind. There’s a connection to Armed with a Wish because this graphic novel was meant to be a bridge between all the stories I have in my head. I think Shadows will still have a connection, though maybe not as much. I’m not sure. I have to see where the stories lead me.

It was spring break and Aaron’s twenty-second birthday. That afternoon I took the long drive from Orlando down to Miami to see him and his girlfriend, Juliette. Only Aaron was at the doctor’s for most of the day because he messed up his knee again jumping on a trampoline. So I met up with Lettie and their friends at Five Guys while we waited for him to get out.

When I entered the restaurant, I was greeted by Lettie and the smell of burgers. I didn’t notice much else besides the red and white checkered decoration and my hunger. Once we ordered we made our way to a table occupied by two guys. They stood when they saw us approach. This was something that always threw me off a little whenever I went to Miami. Everyone, regardless of whether or not they’re Hispanic, stands and kisses you on the cheek when they greet you. I knew it was coming, but it was still a little awkward for me.

“This is Bridie,” Lettie introduced me.

The guy closest to me leaned over to kiss me. He was tall and dark. “Brandon,” he offered.

The motion was followed by the next guy, who was also tall but light with blue eyes and wearing a baseball cap. “James.”

I quietly said hello and we sat down.

“You bought a burger for later?” Brandon asked Lettie after he realized she hadn’t touched her food.

“No, it’s for Aaron.”

We all looked at her a little surprised. I had been mostly quiet until now. “I thought he couldn’t eat at Five Guys.”

Lettie shook her head. “No. He just can’t eat the fries. Because it’s cooked in peanut oil. The burgers aren’t.”

“So I can’t touch Aaron?” James asked as he lifted his fingers and wiggled them.

“You all better wash your hands.”

I instantly looked down at my own hands and grabbed a couple of napkins and started to rub at my fingers. I heard someone laugh and I looked up startled.

“I don’t know how long you’ve known Aaron, but it’s alright. Aaron’s spent most of his birthdays in hospitals.” James grinned at me.

Lettie punched him on the shoulder. “He’s not spending this birthday in the hospital, sir.”

James just made a face while Brandon leaned back in his chair and laughed. I just watched as though I was out on the parking lot looking in through the large restaurant windows. I was reminded of the first time I met Aaron when he came to visit Henry in Orlando. It was my first time hanging out with Henry too. I was so awkward I barely spoke the entire night. I was certain they wouldn’t like me or want to hang out with me after that. Aaron later told me he knew I was nice because of my smile. After a couple more minutes of everyone teasing each other, Lettie’s phone rang so she got up and walked away.

“So you’re from Orlando, right? You met Aaron when he lived there?” Brandon leaned over the table and looked at me.

“Yeah. I met Aaron last year when him and Jon visited Henry.”

“So you’re friends with Henry.” James said it in strange way. It took me a moment to realize that it was an accusation or a judgment.

“You can say that.” I felt uncomfortable then. I tried to remember the stories Henry told me about Miami. He told me about Brandon and James, but the only thing I remembered about James was he dated Aaron’s friend Jessica in high school. Nowhere in my memories could I think of Henry mentioning not liking James or James not liking Henry. Then again, I knew how Henry was and that not everyone was his biggest fan all the time. I knew I wasn’t. I could feel James’s eyes bore into me, wanting more of an explanation. Hoping for a way out of the conversation, I looked over at Lettie and was pleased to see her hang up her cell and move towards us.

“That was Deb. She says Aaron’s done with the appointment and they’re going to head to the Greenery.”

“Sweet. So we should head over there?” James stood and for a moment I thought I imagined the tension that was starting to build only moments before.

“Yeah. I’m going to go with Bridie.” Lettie linked her arm in mine and we all headed out to the parking lot.

• Excerpt, “Shadows in the Everglades” by Sen. “I miss you, come back to me. I need you, come back to me.” And the World Turned, The Gabe Dixon Band. Been listening to the Gotye station on Pandora. I think all these love songs are fucking with me. Big time. But I can’t seem so stop.

A quiet light

Befallen by a quiet might

And in these silent moments

I fear all things unspoken

Hey Jodi,

I haven’t written to you because I was really hoping to have some writing to show you when I did. But I’m completely stuck with my story. I’ve even tried to write it from a 3rd person perspective. I just can’t seem to move forward with it though. I don’t know what to do.

I do know, however, that it is a personal matter. This story is just too close to me.

The truth is, and I think I might have mentioned it, is that I am Bridie. I was at UCF for two years just drowning. I hated it there. I never fit in and I wasn’t quick to make friends. I only began to make friends when I started to hang out with this boy, Horus. Things were alright for a while, despite the fact that he had a girlfriend for about a month and a half or so of our relationship. I should have known never to trust him, but for some reason, I did. Still, I started to do terribly in school. I went from straight A’s my first semester to C’s my second. Fall semester of my sophomore year, things with Horus got bad. I wanted to know why we had been together for six months or so and I wasn’t his girlfriend. He started to pull away and I started to sink into depression. I stopped going to class and started to sleep all the time. I failed two classes that semester. In Spring I found out that he had been cheating on me the entire time. Only according to him, we were never together, never going out, never anything so it didn’t really count as cheating. I felt so discounted. A lot of the people I thought were friends began to pull away. I was insanely miserable and just trying so hard to keep my head above water.

It was during spring break that I met Kyle. That scene were James plays Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” and Bridie realizes that there’s some peace in the world really did happen. I laid on that mattress and realized that I was an idiot for taking all of it so seriously. Life moved on. I didn’t realize it at the time, but somehow I fell in love with Kyle at that moment. But I also thought all of it was in my head. That it was just this deep longing for something, someone, anything different. An escape, 4 hours south of Orlando, from Horus and to Kyle. I thought it was running away, or just the feeling a person gets while on vacation. The real world awaited in Orlando. And there the real world exploded. Upon returning, everything went to hell. It was then that I really found out about the cheating. It was then that I was basically told I was worthless. I became so distraught that I couldn’t be alone anymore. I cut my hair, dyed it black and began sleep on a stranger’s couch. I tried to kill myself twice in one month. That’s when Kyle, Ian and Haley came up to Orlando and I guess saved me. Kyle was there for me even when I didn’t want him to be and he gave me strength. 

I stayed in Orlando that summer, taking my ENC1102 class so that I could switch my major from Art to English in the fall. I planned on staying there, on showing everyone that I was strong and resilient even though I didn’t feel like it. I started driving down to Miami on the weekends. I started skipping class again. I wanted to just move to Miami and live with Kyle, Ian and Haley. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at some point, and that along with a killer paper on the literary importance of graphic novels was the only thing that let me walk away from ENC 1102 with a B after I had skipped so much class. I realized then that I couldn’t stay in Orlando. I would self-destruct there (I already really messed up my hair by bleaching it five times in two months), so I moved home.

Kyle and I had a perfect relationship. We really did. It was equal, respectful, fun and had no pressure. I can’t even describe or explain it. We used to go out into the everglades together. We talked about aliens, the universe, theoretical physics, life and movies. I felt so insanely safe. I trusted him more than I have ever trusted anyone in my entire life. But then he started to do drugs again. At first it was just the pot, and I didn’t think it was that bad. But then I guess it began to be more and he started to get depressed and withdrawn and sleep all the time. 

Sometime in the first weeks of Fall semester, last semester, I told Ian and Haley about his drug use. Kyle could never forgive me for that. It was sometime then that I realized that I loved him, really loved him. The story of the everglades started as a way to try to explain to Kyle that I was sorry, that I had good intentions. But things just got worse for us. I knew a story wouldn’t fix it. I thought maybe if somehow I could write it all out, maybe I could figure out what went wrong. I was so determined to write us a happy ending.

I can’t do it. At a Christmas party he showed up with some girl. I think they’ve been together since. I wouldn’t know since we got into a fight. He told me he had serious feelings for her. We didn’t speak or see each other after that. I haven’t been able to write after that.

He haunts me. I wake up with him every morning, I fall asleep to him every night. I have never pined over someone this much. It has never hurt this much. Almost four months later and my heart still aches, I feel like I’m on the verge of tears all the time. I tried to contact him recently and he said that he can’t talk to me. He gets a weird feeling every time he hears from me, every time he hears my name. It makes him unable to talk to me.

I tried again to write, changing perspectives, changing the sequence of events. 

I know you were right. This story is THE story. The most important story I have to tell, because it’s my story. But I don’t know how to write it anymore.

Yesenia

P.S. On a lighter note, Max and I are in a semi-competition to see who you like more. Him or me. I know he’s winning, but only because he emails you more. :)

 _________________________ —

Sen,

Great to hear from you! Sorry for the delay - super hectic with work and teaching and I am off to Paris tomorrow for a week, so more at another time, but all I can say about writing your story is to write it. Do not worry about the point of view, do not worry about what is true or false, don’t worry if you change the story - you are allowed to do all of these things and unless you are writing a work of non fiction or a memoir, no one will ever check. That’s the beauty of fiction. Just tell the story in the simplest and most straight forward way that you can. You can start in the present, in the past - that is irrelevant as long as it’s on target with the story you want to tell. What you do need to know and it’s the only thing you need to know is WHERE IS THE STORY TO LEAD YOU? You  have to know what it is you want to say or do via the story. You don’t have to consciously know - the story can lead you there, but it needs to lead you and the reader somewhere and then when you reach that point, you will need to go back and edit and ask yourself if everything in the story is leading you to where you ended up. What isn’t part of the story, you will need to part with for this story…hope that makes sense. Have you read 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami? If not, I highly recommend it. It’s long, but everything meets up in the story…it’s wonderful.

Hope this helps and as I said, more to come. I miss all of you guys!!! I hope you keep with the story - it’s worth it.
All good things your way!
Jodi Weiss

I met Nora through Henry who met her through Garret. At first I didn’t know that she was sleeping with Garret, so I was mildly suspicious. We ended up close in a way girls do when they quietly suspect the guys they’re seeing are sleeping with other girls. She had a bird like face, short bubblegum pink hair and combat boots. She was a self proclaimed witch, which led to a cold night in February where she laid the cards out in front of me. They were a plain deck of playing cards, not at all like the beautifully crafted tarot my father had hidden in his closet. It intrigued me because I didn’t understand how to interpret them this way. She said, “You’ve been hurt before. A boy. I’m not talking typical heart break. He was abusive.”

I laughed while Nora looked at me, a question lingering in her eyes. “Am I right or wrong? I’m still getting the hang of this.”

“You’re right.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It was high school. Go on.”

“The relationship you’re currently in isn’t good for you. It drains you. But at the end of all this you will meet someone new, a protector.” Nora looked up at me unsure.

I was looking out the window and across the campus. I wondered if Henry was down in the Ceramics Studio. This was before I knew anything about him and the thirty year old, but it was around when I had the first inkling of something. The feeling of a rift that was pulling apart until lakes started to form and soon the continent would split and an ocean would lie between us.  “I guess that’s to be expected. The protector’s good, right?”

“The relationship might not mean Henry.”

I stared down at the cards, wishing I could understand them. She was trying to reassure me, but we both knew better. Even so, denial is a strange thing. Even the most intelligent of creatures will end up following its song to their doom.

“The protector, a male, will change your life. And you, his. He’ll lead you to your destiny.” Nora stopped and looked closely at her cards. She then shuffled through her pack and opened a small notebook. It contained the meanings and associates of each card. “Huh,” she said at last, “there’s a warning here. I think it means ‘Don’t get too lost in him or else you’ll lose sight.’”

Nora kept looking between the cards and her notes not sure if she was reading them right. I bit my lip and thought over the words. They were odd, but tarot was supposed to be cryptic. I shoved it to the back of my mind.

“They’re just cards anyway. They don’t mean anything,” I muttered.

• Excerpt, “Shadows in the Everglades” by Sen. I don’t know how this fits in anymore. I feel like I have to change this character, or eliminate her. But I wanted to pay homage to Ashley, who is amazing. And I wanted to give some sort of foreshadowing. But I feel like I’d have to pay more homage to Nushik, Theresa, Jalen, J, Mike and Josh who played a big role in keeping my sanity. But I don’t want this novel to end up crazy confusing with too many characters or ideas.
  

Is there a word for the moment you win tug of war?—when the weight gives and all that extra rope comes hurdling toward you. How even though you’ve won, you still wind up with muddy knees and burns on your hands, is there a word for that? I wish there was. I would’ve said it when we were finally together on your couch, neither one of us with anything left to say.

I was asleep when Chickie walked in. Her laughter woke me. After watching a few more street entertainers and figuring out their tricks, I had grabbed a bite to eat, came home and passed out. I didn’t know what time it was, but I figured it was late. Chickie must have gone out with one of her friends after work, maybe Agaline. I thought that’s why she was laughing when she walked in. They were drunk and Agaline was going to crash on the couch. Agaline probably said something hilarious. Or maybe she tripped, which would also be hilarious because everything is hilarious when you’re drunk.

But instead of Agaline’s voice, I heard a male’s.

I opened my eyes and tried to adjust to the light that was flooding in through the hall. Chickie was pulling a tall thin man into our apartment, laughing and cooing all the while. Immediately I was alarmed. We never brought guys to the apartment. There were many reasons for it, the biggest one being the impracticality and rudeness of it all since Chickie and I shared the same mattress. So even drunk, this wasn’t like her.

Which immediately made me think of the glowing eyed boys. I grabbed for the metal bat we kept beside the bed and stood, not entirely sure that would really defend us against him. My movement drew his attention to me and, in the pale hall light, he grinned. His eyes did not glow but I could see that under his skin dark vines moved and snaked and thorns began to push their way through his lips.

“Your days are numbered, Haliak,” he said before he leaned down and kissed Chickie on the forehead. Chickie giggled and slumped to the ground as he walked back out the door. I only stood there stunned, the bat useless in my hands.

Dropping it, I walked over to Chickie. She was still giggling. I could see droplets of blood pooling on her forehead. I went to wipe it away but stopped. A flood of emotions washed over me. I felt wrong, sick, scared. It was almost like when I picked up the paint can, only without the electric fire. Chickie reached out for me, giggling like a small child all the while, but I quickly moved back. I felt ashamed, I wanted to comfort her, but something in me told me I couldn’t.

“Chickie,” I said from my safe distance. “Chickie, can you hear me?”

“Of course I can, little Frankie, little Haliak.” She crawled towards me squealing and I backed up again.

“What does that mean? I don’t know what a Haliak is.”

“They’re coming for you. They’re all coming for you,” she cooed.

I was in the hallway now, stepping carefully backward. The area where his thorn lips kissed her was turning green and her irises were turning black and slowly growing large.

“They’re coming for you,” she started to sing as though it was a lullaby. “They’re coming for you, little Haliak.”

I turned and ran.

• Excerpt, “Armed with a Wish” by Sen. Maybe I have a better chance at publishing this story. I don’t know. You think Holly Black or Neil Gaiman might appreciate me?
  

I lost my voice 
inside my head.
I try to scream
But words are dead.
I try to cry
but my soul has dried.
I ache because of lies.

“Hmph.” She took another sip of coffee. “Still, maybe I should stop going out all the time. I got to grow up.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure you do. Look how old you are. Ancient. Twenty-five. You need to learn real responsibility. You have crow’s feet and saggy tits now. It’s time.”  I made a face.

Grinning, she said, “I’m still young.” She looked at the time and set the coffee cup down. “Fuck. I better head over to Blue’s.”

As I watched her leave, I thought about how Chickie took me in when she was only twenty-one. It was the day before my fifteenth birthday when my brother, Tick, brought me to her apartment. She had multicolored dreads then and I remember thinking her piercings looked menacing. Tick told me I had to stay with her for a couple weeks. She only agreed because they were dating and she was totally in love with him. She also didn’t expect a couple of weeks of babysitting his kid sister to turn into four years. Neither did I.

After she left, I became restless. It was only around three in the afternoon and since I didn’t have work, the hours of the day stretched long ahead of me. All I could think about were the boys with the yellow eyes and their paint cans. And the more I thought about them, the more I wondered what else was out there and if we were safe. I would have hid out in the apartment forever, but as the minutes stretched on the walls of the already too small room started to close in.

I needed to get out.

I headed east toward Bridges, the district that connected East and West Taylan—uncreatively called such for the many bridges connecting the city over the Zyp River. By night, Bridges was the party district with nightclubs and bars. By day, it was populated by those who enjoyed cozy coffee shops and punky record stores.

It was the heart of the city, the center of everything and the only thing that brought together the two conflicting parts. See, without Bridges, Taylan would be split not just by the river but culturally. Eastern Taylan liked to hold on to its traditions, the old ways of the Fherian people. It’s actually considered a historical landmark and by law unable to be altered. It is the home of the oldest and largest bazaar in Fheria as well as home to countless parks, open aired amphitheaters, botanical gardens and winding cobble streets that led to dead ends or more gardens or courtyards of houses. It was clean there, beautiful. West Taylan held the skyscrapers, the factories, the steel and grit. Without the Bridges and its mixture of classic and modern, wooden and stone and steel and concrete, there’d be nothing to hold the place and the people together.

I passed the time by window shopping, moving in and out of records stories and book cafes. I watched street entertainers dance or play stringed instruments, drawing crowds around them. I was still paranoid about everything and everyone around me. The man next to me, would his eyes glow? Could that old woman playing the lute charm me? And would standing in a crowd protect me if something magical wanted to hurt me?

The fascination, curiosity, and fear burned inside me. But I did not want to run from it. Instead, I walked across a stone bridge over onto the eastern part of the Bridges. A street magician played card tricks with a little girl. I drew closer, trying to catch the illusion, trying to spot the trick. I don’t know what exactly I wanted to see: the false nature of it all or real magic at work?

The little girl picked a card from the deck and the magician was able to properly guess it. Then he made the card vanish; only it slipped from his long sleeve moments later. I walked away.

• Excerpt, “Armed with a Wish” by Sen. This story. Ugh, I need to get around to this one. You’d think in some ways it’d be easier. It’s been in my head since I was fifteen and at twenty-one I can develop it so much better. I’m able to make it make sense. I wrote the first draft when I was in my sophomore year of high school and it sounds so ridiculous now. I didn’t know anything back then about drinking or partying or life. Now I do. And now I can put together a world that I would have never thought of back then. Still, this is insanely difficult. I try to create my own fantasy creatures instead of relying on ones that already exist. Years ago, I even started to create languages for this story. Or, well, this world. It’s expansive and Frankie is only a small part of it, one of many characters and stories that coexist in this world. It’s also somehow more difficult than “Shadows in the Everglades” because it deals with things that I don’t really know, things that I’ve made up. It’s not based on memory, fact or research. Purely me. And somehow that makes it all the more difficult. 
  

My world was tangled and crazy and my heart was in distress because of some stupid boy. And I knew the solution wasn’t another stupid boy. But there in the webs of my random life, I was lying on a mattress and there was a boy playing one of my favorite songs and I felt safe.

When the song stopped and James stepped through the sliding door, I tried to pretend to be asleep. But I snuck a look, and he caught me. He stopped and stared down at me and I stared up at him. Just for a brief moment. Then he kept walking and disappeared down the hall. And I went to sleep.

In the fuzzy darkness of my dreaming mind, I thought he came back and kissed me. Or maybe that I walked over to his room and kissed him. And I wondered why I dreamt that. Of course, one thought dims another, but at the time my whole world should have centered on Henry. 

• Excerpt, “Shadows in the Everglades” by Sen. This is the last couple paragraphs from ‘Maybe You Can Hear Me.02’ I don’t know why I didn’t include them int hat original post. They’re meant to be read together as one thing.  http://senshinec.tumblr.com/post/20320979635/maybe-you-can-hear-me-02